Orphanage Revisited -

Our eldest daughter, Caitlin, courageously left China 3.5 years ago with little understanding of where she was going.  She left behind her friends, her nanny, her country and the only home she had ever known.  Today ........... today she came back!

As the bus rumbled down the street it splashed through the fresh puddles and we could see the excitement on Caity's face growing.  Her smile grew wider as her feet bounced up and down in anticipation.  She looked to her parents and back out the window.  She stood up, sat down and then slapped my shoulder multiple times.  "Daddy, daddy, we getting close now."  We rounded one more corner and passed through the gates.  Caity was home.........

We exited the bus just as dirty little faces peaked around the corner.  One by one they appeared, timidly approaching the newcomers.  Then the nannies appeared and Caitlin was reunited with the kind hearts that taught her grace in the midst of the poverty and hunger of her childhood.

In a country where touch and hugging is rare, the warmth of the embraces were remarkable to witness.  The nannies proudly led us to the new common eating area.  Previously the children all ate in their tiny rooms but now they had a special place for food.  It was a minor improvement but an improvement nonetheless.

We visited with all the children as they ate their meals and were surprised to see that they had food in excess.  Caitlin tells of how hungry she was every day of her life.  She tells of how she would scrounge for food in trash cans in the hopes for some tiny scraps.  We pray that this was a permanent improvement and not just for show.

Much to our delight we watched the smile on Caity's face as she shared all of the snacks we brought with us.  She left years ago with nothing and now she comes back to share her blessings with all those left behind.

We watched our two youngest children transition from shock at the living conditions to comfort as they interacted with the many smiling faces, following the lead of their eldest brother.

The tour continued and Caitlin showed her siblings her former room.  Very small by western standards for one person - here it was shared by eight individuals - 2 children per single bed.

The odors of the distressed living conditions wafted past as the tour progressed.  Outside was a little child using a bucket for a toilet and waved as we went by.  The rusty old sink sat silently for the moment.  A place where Caitlin spent many hours scrubbing all the children's clothes by hand.  In summer, in winter and all year round.  The shadows of memories echoed behind her eyes as she absorbed all the realities of her past.  Was this really where she had lived for so long?

Then it was off to lunch.  Caitlin was permitted to bring whomever she wished and she chose no fewer than seven people.  (Good thing we brought a bus.)

To be present at this meal was an honor and a joy.  There was no shortage of conversation and laughter was the main dish served.  We exchanged stories of the past and present, America and China and delighted in every tale.

We had the great honor of being invited back to one of the nanny's homes.  An opportunity to see how the locals live and experience the hospitality of the woman who taught Caity to be the incredible young lady she is today.  We squeezed through a gap in the fence and proceeded up the graffiti-ridden stairway.  This nanny had very little but shared with us all that she had.  She was kind and generous in every way and gifted us with an experience we will treasure forever.

Before the two hour journey back to our hotel one thing remained.  Just as Luke and Rachel got to view their files in Korea, so, too, will Caity see her file in China.  She will not learn anything of her biological parents since she was abandoned but she will learn one unique piece of her history. She will learn her "finding place".  The place where her mother left her on the steps 16 years ago.

We travelled there together as a family.  One would think that a place of such great significance would be ordained with some type of memorial or a plaque but the sad reality is that it is only significant to us.  Caitlin was found very unceremoniously on the steps of a bus station and all we could do to celebrate her "finding place" was to take a few photos as the rain fell around us.  It was strange to think that her "biological mother" could have been in one of the surrounding apartments; perhaps even walking past us as the station bustled with activity.  We will all need time to process the sad reality of this experience in the coming days but one thing is for certain; through the actions of this "biological mother" our family has been deeply blessed.

As we travel back on the bus together I listen to the chatter around me.  SongAe and the translator - the children are laughing - but mostly I listen to Caitlin.  Caitlin and her good friend from the orphanage who is accompanying us back to the hotel for the night.  There hasn't been a moment of silence between them since our departure.  I hope they talk all night long..............

                                                       One Final Surprise!

     Tomorrow we leave Korea for China and the continuing journey toward Mark and Faith but before we go, God had planned one final, amazing experience.

     To our utter amazement, today we met with a famous reporter from one of the largest, most well read newspapers in Korea.  This interview was, itself, a remarkable indicator of a changing perspective among the Korean people towards adoption.  We were extremely honored to have even been contacted to tell our story.

Our Family with Kim, Sun Mi

For two hours we had the distinct pleasure of sharing our unique family dynamic with Kim, Sun Mi.  She is a remarkable individual and we felt very humbled to be the subject of her curiosity.

Telling Our Story

When her article is published we fervently hope that seeds will be planted all over Korea.  We pray that The Lord will place our story upon the hearts of the Korean people and make adoption not only more acceptable ....... but desirable.

Olympic Ski Jump

Our journey this week took us from the top of Seoul Tower to the markets of Myeongdong.  From magnificent coastal beaches to the future site of the 2018 Winter Olympics and finally to the pinnacle of Mount Seorak.  The beauty of this country is matched only by the hearts of its people.

The boys atop Mount Seorak

Our Korean family has embraced us with open arms and shown us a love that we do not deserve just as our Father in heaven has done for each of his children.  If, after today, one more child finds a home; one more child receives a loving embrace or one less child goes to bed hungry than all of our efforts have not been in vain.

Our wonderful family rented a bus to show us the country.

WHY DIDN'T MY PARENTS WANT ME?

     Who are my biological parents and why didn't they want me?  Questions that almost every adoptee has struggled with the majority of their lives.  Questions that are often left unanswered.  These queries don't just plague the adoptees but can also weigh like an anchor upon the thoughts of the adoptive parents as well.  Do we share what little information we have with our children?  When will they be old enough to do this?  Do we help them find their biological parents?  Would it even be possible?  Truth be told, there are no correct answers to these questions.  For each family, each child and each parent the road traveled may be very different.  For our family, currently here in Korea, our road has taken an interesting turn.

     This week my wife and I traveled with our four children (soon to be six:) to the Korean Social Services Office and the orphanage site where both Luke and Rachel stayed prior to foster care and their eventual adoption to the U.S.  For Luke, that journey took just 4.5 months.  In 2001 when he arrived at the airport, he was greeted by four generations of his new family and a love that would never end.

2001 - (At Airport) Mommy holds Luke for the 1st time.

2001 - Four Generations

2001 - Arriving Home

Rachel's journey was only slightly longer and in 2003 she arrived home only three days shy of six months.  Notably, the second she saw mommy she reached out and touched her face.  An instant connection was made and a lifelong love and friendship.

2003 - Are you my mother? (Grammie is holding Rachel)

2003 - Brothers?  I have brothers?

2003 - Home for the first time.

2016

     But today we tell a different story.  Today Rachel is 13 years old and Luke is 15.  Today we find ourselves in Korea at the social services office.  Today we learn who our parents are and why they couldn't take care of me.  Today that ache .................... that constant longing for answers will finally be satiated.

2016

     It was a difficult journey.  None of us really knew what to feel ............ why should we?  We were happy and sad, relieved and surprised.  We shed smiles and tears all in the same breath and when it was over ........... we were exhausted.  The emotional journey was more than we'd expected but the resolution was exactly what we needed.

     We had arrived in Korea only a few months after they had leveled all the orphanage buildings. All that remained was the office structure.  Korea is essentially closed to international adoption now and they are finding homes for their children within the borders of their own country.  A resolution that is best for the children and a remarkable step for an Asian country steeped in the traditions of bloodlines.  

The buildings may have been gone but the administrator loved all her children and after 30 years was well prepared for our visit.  She had the original files for both Luke & Rachel and even presented us with baby pictures we had never seen before.  She presented the children and our family with several small gifts but that was just the beginning.

   

 In the next room was a detailed model of the entire orphanage.  She was able to tell us the exact building that Luke was in and the same for Rachel.  She knew these wonderful teens needed resolution and needed to understand all they could about their past.  She was kind, patient and answered every question they could think of.

Luke's building is to the left.  His stay was not lengthy.  As soon as the orphanage was notified that he had a family he was placed into foster care to help prepare him for being in that family.

Rachel's experience two years later was very similar to her brother's.  On the right you can see her building before she, too, was placed into foster care.

     So today we are a stronger family, armed with the knowledge of our past.  We have answers to many of those questions that nagged at our consciousness in those quiet, introspective moments.  No, we are not yet whole - and the fresh wounds of reality and truth will take time to heal but when they do our children will be able to answer that fundamental question that has followed them their entire lives .................. why ........ why?

Angyonghasaeo all.  Hello and greetings from Korea,

It has been another amazing day here.  We began our morning by attending service at the oldest Presbyterian church in Korea.  This is the church where SongAe's mother was a pastor when she was a little girl.  I am always overwhelmed by the familiarity and comfort of a church even when it is in a foreign language.  A Christian can travel anywhere in the world and instantly have a rapport with fellow believers.  When God is placed in the center of people's lives they always speak the same language - even when they don't!

Following the service we were driven to a local orphanage that the church helps to support.  They have about 65 children there of all ages.  We met with the director for a couple hours prior to our tour and were fascinated by the openness of his responses.

What amazed SongAe and I the most was Caitlin's specific fascination with the discussion.  She was remarkably attentive the entire time and must have asked at least 10 or 15 questions of her own.  I told her that I was very impressed with her interest and she responded, "Of course I'm interested dad.  I'm the only one that lived in an orphanage most of my life."  Silly me......

After leaving the orphanage and saying goodbye to some truly adorable children we met up with another four relatives that were not in the original 27 we met the first night we got here.  For those of you that missed the facebook post on that one, here is a picture of that gathering below.

With 10 of us together we visited a Korean cultural center.  Here we got to experience various aspects of Korean culture.  To makes things even more fun, we wore the traditional Han-bok outfits during the entire tour.

Luke has been an incredible trooper throughout and traveled several miles on his crutches today.  He had several breaks while riding on both Matthew and daddy's backs but we have all been extremely impressed with his perseverance and desire to participate in spite of the surgery and pain.  For those of you that missed it, Luke badly broke his ankle before we left and had to have surgery to install a plate in his foot less than 24 hours before we left.  The good news is that we found a place to rent a wheel chair for the rest of the week and that should make things much easier.

After saying goodbye to our family briefly stopped by our hotel rooms.  Y'all would get a kick out of the available space here.  We wanted to stay in downtown Seoul in the thick of the street venders but to do so we had to get extremely small rooms.  Each room has 3 single beds and only enough floor space for the suitcases if we stack them.  It really is a hilarious setup.  Fortunately we don't spend much time there.  For diner tonight we walked around and purchased a wide assortment of foods from no less than 12 different street vendors.  It was a fantastic experience.  All three girls were in seventh heaven and the boys surprised me with their culinary adventurousness as well.

Now, finally we are back in our rooms and things are winding down.  Prayers for us tomorrow please.  We are headed to the social services offices where Luke and Rachel were adopted from.  We are going to allow them to see their actual files and will learn all the information they have about their biological parents.  We know that emotions will be raw as they deal with a potentially difficult past and ask that the Holy Spirit grant them peace as they assimilate this information.  They both already told us at diner that they know who their real parents are ......... as they pointed  across the table at SongAe and myself.  These children never cease to amaze me.  How could we possibly have been given the opportunity to raise such remarkable individuals?  Only by the grace of God!

We thank you for your continued prayers and continued support.  Our fervent desire is for each of you to draw closer to the Lord, in some small way, through our story.

By His grace,

Team Armstrong

06/30/2016

Growing Again!!!

     I apologize for the lengthy delay since our last update.  It would seem that life got in the way for a little while.  To be honest, we thought we were finished with expanding our family.  Even as I write the last sentence I know that God chuckles at the finality of that statement.  Of course He knew all along that we had not yet fulfilled the purpose for which we were created.  Everything that has happened in our lives has prepared us for this special journey and we must listen when the Lord speaks.  To that end, we would like to introduce Mark and Faith.  These two amazing children are biological siblings and have been in the orphanage since their parents passed away when they were very young.  This Friday, July 1st, 2016 we will depart on a remarkable family journey to make them a permanent part of our home.

     For us, this will be an unprecedented journey of faith.  We are taking all four of our resident children along with us every step of the way.  It is our fervent desire to show our children the world as it truly is.  We wish to give them a more complete picture of the realities of life apart from American affluence and plant a seed within them to grow the servants hearts which God has placed within all of us.  We pray that the next four weeks will be life changing for each of them in their own, unique ways.

     Our journey begins with a week in Korea exploring the past of our Korean adoptees.  We will learn much about their cultural heritage and will even be afforded an opportunity to visit their orphanage.  We are expecting many difficult and challenging emotions to be experienced here and we ask for the Lord's guidance as we navigate this portion of our sojourn.

     Next we will be off to Beijing to explore the many wonders of Chinese history and culture.  This should be especially interesting to Caitlin, our oldest daughter and Chinese adoptee.  In her previous life in China she was not even permitted to attend school and this will be a learning experience for her in many different ways.

     Following Beijing we will be flying to the Anhui province to visit Caitlin's orphanage.  Here, she will have the opportunity to spend time with the one kind nanny that cared for her and perhaps another friend as well.  She will be able to stand tall before those who mistreated her and know that they will never be able to hurt her again.  We will have the opportunity to show Caitlin's siblings the nightmare in which she was raised and garner a new understanding of their sister and the sad realities of orphans in this world.

     On July 17th we arrive in Guangxi for what will be the pinnacle of our journey.  The following day, we will hold Mark and Faith in our arms for the first time, knowing that they are finally safe and breath a giant sigh of relief.  We will spend several days here waiting for paperwork to be completed and getting to know our newest children.

     After Guangxi, we're off to Guangzhou where all new adoptive families go.  Another week of waiting, medical exams, paperwork and more exploring. 

     Hong Kong is the last stage of our journey.  We will spend a day here being tourists and then, at long last, we will head back to our home in Houston, Texas on July 30th.

     We humbly ask for your prayers during this journey of exploration, growth and adoption.  Specifically, please pray for our middle son, Luke.  He broke his ankle a few days ago and we've just learned he will be having surgery the day before we leave to insert a metal plate into his foot.  Please pray for a swift recovery and comfort on and off the airplane.

     To all of those who have aided us in making this remarkable experience happen, we are eternally grateful.  (You know who you are:)  Thank you also, in advance, for all of the support and prayers from our amazing friends in the U.S., Canada, Korea and China.  We treasure each and every one of you.  To God be the glory!

By His grace,

Jeff

One Year!!!

02/18/2014

 

 

 

It constantly amazes me the way my life has unfolded.  As with so many others in this world, a good portion of my days has been spent overcoming adversity.  So often these challenges initially appear insurmountable.  A dark cloud forms over my tiny little, self-centered existence and I look to the heavens demanding answers.  When such cries are met with silence I sometimes wonder if I have been left to fend for myself?

 

After forty-four years I am only now beginning to more fully understand the great wonders of God's gentle, guiding hand.  If we look to "James" we see some amazing insight:

"Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."





Grammie & Grampa with the Grandchildren

Only looking back, in hindsight, can I see how incredibly true this promise is.  God has taught me so much more through difficult times than I ever could have learned without these experiences.  I would not have been prepared for the real purpose for which He created me without this adversity.  He has prepared me to be His servant in joy and in hardship and He has prepared me to serve Him daily as a husband and a father to four of His most amazing creations!

 

Our family is not traditional by any stretch of the imagination.  We are an amalgamation of five distinctly different cultures and fully recognize the challenges that go with such a blended family.  But through adversity and love, God is continually teaching and molding us to become more fully who He intended us to be all along.

Today is the one year anniversary of the day we met our oldest daughter - "Gotcha Day!"  Last year, at this time, our lives were changed forever as our beautiful girl rounded the corner at a cold and dirty government office in China.  She hugged the wall, with fear in her eyes, not fully understanding just how drastically her life was about to change.




Caitlin's First Halloween

 

In one years time she has experienced her first birthday celebration, her first Halloween, her first Christmas and her first Thanksgiving.  She deeply touched all of us on thanksgiving day when she spoke longer than any other family member explaining what she was truly thankful for.  Her perspective on life has changed how we all view this world.  She now has exceptional study habits and she and her sister are frequently found connected at the hip.   



First Thanksgiving



 Has this experience been all rainbows and unicorns?  Absolutely not!  We have travelled some difficult roads both as parents and as a family but each one of us is, without a doubt, a better person for it.  Our children have grown and matured in ways we could have never foreseen and they have an entirely new perspective on the blessed life they live in America.
 

Who's The guy in the red suit?

As parents, Song-Ae and I are so grateful for the incredible blessings these children are in our lives but God has also seen fit to grow our hearts and look at life with new insight.  When we live our lives, striving for "eternal significance" instead of "wordly significance" our relationship with the Lord prospers in new and unimaginable ways.  We fully recognize that this is not the end of our journey with Caitlin, but just the beginning.  We have many difficult days ahead but we also know that we will not walk this road alone.

Caitlin has a doggie!

 


First Christmas


We feel greatly humbled that God has chosen us to guide these amazing children.  I often wonder why He chose us with all our flaws and sins?  Perhaps its like the song says, "Who but you would ever choose to dream your dream in me?  When we fully submit to God we are no longer the sum of our past mistakes - we become so much more!  If God can use a messed up pair of His children like us to make a tiny difference in this world, imagine what He could do with you?

For any of you that are considering adoption or perhaps service in any other capacity I leave you with this one thought.  God does not necessarily call the equipped ......................... but He definitely equips the called. (Tony Evans)

By His grace,